Grief Beyond Gold
by JuggsGotYa
Summary: AU:After the war for the mountain Tauriel goes in search of Kili.
1. Chapter 1

Tauriel's bones were battered and her wounds she received from the foul beast Bolg burned in the cold dry air, but she press herself one in search of her dwarf. As she trudged through the snow and ice she hoped against all hope that she was mistaken, that her dwarf, her Kili was alive, that he had clung to life in spite of Bolg, she knew well the stubbornness of dwarves.

Consumed in her thoughts she realized too late her path had turned to pure ice and her footing was lost, she caught herself before she could fall farther and going over the ledge again, but the impact still rattled her already injured body.

She gasped, trying desperately to catch her breath, but this was a state she was not familiar with. Tauriel was always strong, stable, and never had she ever been in a situation where she found herself to desperate. She feared not for herself however, her wounds would heal. But every time she thought back to Kili her stomach would drop and she would find the strength to press on. She struggled to right herself, and when she was stable enough to press on she heard it, and anguished cry of pain unlike anything she had heard before, not a pleasant sound but one that filled her with hope, she was close to where Kili had fallen surely it could only be him.

With a new found strength she fully righted herself and pressed on with vigor she had lacked before. The cries of anguish continued and she followed them like a siren's call. The screams were terrible and wonderful all at once to her elven ears, she would find him and heal him, things were not over not yet.

As she round the corner of a shattered stone wall however, her hopes were dashed as she took in the sight before her. The screams had not come from the mouth of her dwarf, but rather his uncle, who screamed and sobbed as he clutched desperately to his fallen nephew as though he may be able to wake him from his eternal sleep. His pained shouts not from the wounds on his body, but from a wound that cut deeper than any axe or sword.

Suddenly Tauriel felt like a stranger in this scene, though her heart wept and tears ran freely from her eyes she could not quite bring herself to approach the dwarf king as he held desperately to his fallen kin. Even from where she stood Tauriel could see the tears streaming down Thorin's face as the once stoic king now cried for his nephew.

After what seemed like hours Thorin's anguished screamed turned hoarse and turned to quiet sobbing as he cradled Kili gently to his chest hid faced buried in the young dwarfs hair. Tauriel summoned her courage to slowly began to approach the grief stricken king under the mountain. Her elven feet kept her from make any unwanted noise as she drew closer not sure what she was going to do when she reached them.

Time seemed to pass quickly and far too slowly all at once, but she finally stood mere feet away from the king and departed kin. She wanted so desperately to reach out and stroke Kili's gentle face and soft hair, but at the same time she dreaded doing so, to touch him would prove that this was her love who lay fallen before her. Without making a sound she knelt down before the pair of dwarves before and reached out, but she stopped halfway when her eyes meet with Thorin's.

There was none of his hatred for elves in his blood shot eyes, no rage or mistrust, only sorrow, regret, and the salty tears that were now frozen to his cheeks. She imagined her eyes were the same though she could not know for certain, seeing the grief in his eyes made Tauriel feel like an intruder on the scene, she had no claim to be here while Kili's family grieved for him. With no small effort and a great deal of sorrow sitting heavy on her heart started to stand and turn from the scene when a hoarse voice spoke.

"Wait…don't…" Thorin whispered his voice weak and ragged pure sorrow echoed in his voice as he tried desperately to convey his grief stricken thoughts audibly. "Kili…he wouldn't…" but the rest was lost as he broke down one more. Tauriel believed she understood however as she moved to sit next to the weeping king.

"I won't leave him" she whispered back to him as she gently placed her hand upon her fallen dwarf and her tears flowed freely once more.

As Thorin sat next the elf still holding his beloved nephew closely, he forgot about what the elven king had done to him and his people all those years ago, he forgot his prejudices and he thought of Erebor. He would gladly trade his crown, the mountain, the gold, and even the Arkenstone just have his nephews returned to him. He would trade it all for his family, he realized too late how foolish this quest had been, in their journey to reclaim a pile of stone and metal he had lost what was truly most precious to him.

His energy drained from him Thorin now wept silently, his sorrow surrounded him blocking out the sounds of war and screeching orcs when suddenly a gentle hand on his should cut through the fog of his grief. Slowly he turned to face the fair elf maiden who had offered the comforting gesture. In another time he would have bated it away and insulted her for daring to lay a hand upon him, but today Thorin Oakenshield could not bring himself to stir up any hate.

Slowly and with a shaking hand his calloused fingered wrapped gently around hers trying desperately to find some small comfort. Her soft but strong fingers gripped his hand back trying to find the same comfort. They sat quietly like that for some time, the silence broken only by the occasional whimper or sniff, the battle around then having fallen silent.

"You know… he loved you" Thorin spoke quietly after a while, his voice still hoarse and his eyes never leaving his nephew's face. Tauriel was quite for a moment before looking over to Thorin, her eyes red and face streaked with frozen tears, she had never seen a man, elf, or dwarf look so broken in her countless years.

"He loved you too" she whispered unsure of what to say to dwarf before her.

The mighty dwarf raise his gazed from his fallen kin and their eyes meet, in that moment there was no hate between the two races, there was only loss, sorrow, pain, and an understanding. Hate had suddenly become trivial in wake of grief, and the two races sat together in peace as they grieved for the ones they loved.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Second chapter be sure to let me know what you think, and I would like to take the time to say thank you to those who have Favorited, Followed, and reviewed my work.**

Neither one of them was sure how long they had sat in mourning over Kili's body, after their brief exchange they did not say another word to one another, there was no need to. The still fridge air was occasionally broken by a biting wind or the sound of a crow cawing, but were it not for the sun slowly beginning to set it would have seemed to world had stopped, frozen in their grief. It was just as the sun hit the horizon that Tauriel broke the silence her voice barely above a whisper.

"What will you do now?" her eyes watered as she spoke to him tears threatening to burst forth once more. Thorin was quite for some time before he responded his voice still hoarse from the screams that scared his throat when he discovered his nephew.

"We will take him and his brother back to Erebor, we will take them and lay them to rest deep in the stone…" he seemed to trail off.

Tauriel wondered for a moment where his thoughts had gone before she realized that Thorin's eyes were locked on something in front of them. She quickly followed his gaze and she saw what had drawn his attention. The bulky form of Dwalin had rounded an edge of shattered stone holding the fallen Fili. For a moment Tauriel was uncertain if the grim looking dwarf would address her with the unkind words she used to from his race, but his features softened from stern to a much more sorrowful one as he approached his king.

Thorin's breath seemed to hitch as his friend paced towards him. Tauriel could almost hear his heart rate quicken the closer Dwalin got to him. When he but a few feet away he stopped, not paying any attention to the elf how sat beside his king, nor how the two held each other's hands in an almost desperate grip.

"Bring him here" Thorin whispered barley able to keep his voice in check as Dwalin gently laid Fili down with his brother and uncle. Just as gently Thorin brought both of his nephews close to him, his face practically buried in their hair as he whispered to them sorrowfully. Tauriel did not mean to pry but her elven ears were able to hear every word he spoke as though he were whispering in her own ears.

"Gold beyond grief, worth all the blood spilled…I was such a fool, I would trade it all just to have you back. Look where I have brought you my sister's sons…I am so sorry" his words were broken by an almost inaudible sob "I was so fortunate to have been there and known you when you came into this world and now…" at this the dwarf king lost any resolve he had left and openly wept over his kin in spite of a throat torn and raw of his cries earlier.

For the second time that day Tauriel felt like a stranger intruding on an intimate moment, but neither Thorin nor Dwalin made any move to dismiss her. As the sky darkened Thorin's raspy cries faded in to silence, after a short moment of silence Dwalin spoke to his king.

"Thorin…come let us lay these boys to rest" his voice was strong but Tauriel's could see the tears threatening to pour forth from his eyes. Moving slowly he the burly dwarf placed a comforting hand upon his king's shoulder, Thorin made no response and did not budge. The once sorrowful expression on Dwalin's face turn to one of concern as he shook his shoulder. Once more Thorin did not stir from his place on the ground, the now frighten Dwalin now grasped the dwarven king by both his shoulders and shook him much more fervently and shouted his name "THORIN! DON"T YOU DARE GO TOO"

Tauriel's widened when Thorin's head lolled back, his face now ashen grey and eye's barley open, but the small wisps of steams from in mouth in the frigid air showed that he was indeed still alive. Moving swiftly she moved and forced open one of his eyes to examine his pupil, these were the same symptoms Kili had exhibited in Laketown. After hurriedly examining his body for injuries her suspicions were confirmed in the form of three broken arrow shafts protruding under his left arm, they smelled foul and bleed profusely. For a moment she was marveled by how he had maintained himself until that point until she was brought back to reality and how serious this situation was.

"Morgul shots… he needs medical attention quickly" she said quickly before making a move to heft Thorin before she was halted by the tree trunk that was Dwalin's arm.

"What do you think you are doing she-elf?" any sorrow that was present before was quickly replaced by a fierce determination to protect his king, it was not guided by reason but by sheer loyalty. Tauriel would have thought it admirable had the situation not been so dire.

"Your king has been poisoned by some foul orc concoction, he needs help and I can get him to the help he needs swifter than you can master dwarf…please I've had my fill of death today, I would see your king…your friend survive this battle…please trust me" her eyes were pleading and her voice desperate.

Dwalin eyed her skeptically but his tone changed when he turned and saw the sorry state Thorin was in. For all the greatness of the dwarves, no dwarf would ever argue with an elf on which race was swifter on foot. With what sounded like a grunt Dwalin relented.

"Fine, take him…" he stepped aside as Tauriel lifted the fallen king into her arms; he was surprisingly heavy for one of such short stature, and turned to race down the side of the mountain to hopefully find Thorin the medical attention he needed. As she approached the ledge she heard Dwalin call out.

"Don't you dare let anything happen to him!" his shout caused Tauriel to pause for as moment, she turned to face the dwarf and gave him a curt nod, and with that she was off racing down the side of Ravenhill hold the great dwarf king to her chest like a mother would hold a child.

As Tauriel leapt from stone to stone down the steep drop she wondered why Thorin had not made mention of his wounds. He was no doubt a stalwart and sturdy dwarf but even he had to have known how serve his wounds were. It was then a thought struck her that almost caused her to lose her step and threatened to send the both of them plummeting down the jagged Cliffside. Had Thorin Oakenshield not wished to survive? She quickly dispelled the thought, there was no time to dwell on the dwarf's state of mind. She had to concentrate on getting down to fields and finding a horse, no elf no matter how swift would not be able to get the fallen dwarf the medicine he needed in time on foot.

After a short time she reached the bottom of cliff face and began to scan the fields for any mount that would serve her purposes. Much to her dismay the only thing that that lay before her were to broken bodies of orc, elves, and dwarves. Undeterred she pressed on sprinting across the battle field hoping that there was still time.

* * *

><p>Thorin's blood felt as though it were on fire, and his bones rattled and shook with every movement the one who carried him made. If he had the strength he would have likely made some noise of discomfort, but he barely had the strength to breath and he would certainly once again slip in to unconsciousness soon, and this time did not know if he would wake.<p>

Just as he was about to relent to the darkness all the jostling stopped and he felt as though he were floating, and for moment he thought he had actually left his body. That was until he felt another sudden jolt and the pace at which he was being carried increased drastically. With a great deal of effort he forced his eyes open and laid his eyes upon Kili's elf, her hair whipping behind her wildly and her eyes set with a fierce determination. As Thorin look upon her fair face he felt himself comforted despite the burning in his blood, before the darkness took him again he was utter two mumbled words he never thought he would day to an elf.

"Thank you" and with that Thorin drifted off into the abyss unsure if he would wake.


End file.
